I remember when I was a girl, a family member tried to explain the difference between faith and fate. I grew up going to church, and I loved the song by George Micheal so I was very familiar with faith. Fate on the other hand was not something I was able to grasp back then. It took years for me to understand it, even now as a grown woman.
On the fast track
In my late teens and twenties, I had a one track mind; no matter what got in my way, or no matter what I had to do, if I wanted it, I’d get it. I would pursue iffy relationships, dead end hopes, and even jobs that I didn’t necessarily like but paid well. I never stopped to contemplate where my actions would lead me. I would pursue what I THOUGHT I wanted, what I was TOLD I should have. I can’t say chasing my goals was unwise, it was more like my motives behind the chase were misguided.
I was raised to think I had to be the best at everything and failing wasn’t an option. Failure to me back then meant life as I knew it would be over, and there would be no possible way to move on.
Failure was the answer
Just when I least expected it, fate stepped in. I failed, and it was epic. I was definitely upset, but if I’m being completely honest, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I was relieved because even though I failed, I was still standing. Once I got over the disappointment and the self pity, I freed myself from the shackles of expectation. The fear of failure lost its bite, and it was finally time to do what I truly wanted.
They always say hind sight is 20/20, and looking back I could see the signs I was headed for disaster. Sometimes fate doesn’t smile on you, it takes away the things or people you think you need, forcing you to reconnect with yourself. It may be the last resort and hurt like hell, but a complete life overhaul is better than missing your destiny altogether.
I slowed down and took some time to review my choices figuring out where they lead me. Most heartbreak in my life could have either been prevented all together, or stopped from getting any worse had I just taken the time to listen.
Listen to you
When I say I took the time to listen, I mean I stopped trying to please others, and let go of anything or anyone toxic in my life. It is next to impossible to figure out who I was when someone was always in my ear trying to influence me. I had to learn how to put my needs ahead of the opinions and criticism of others.
No matter what mistakes have been made or how many signs have been overlooked, fate never fades or forgets, it waits patiently and is always ready when you are not.